It’s the Number One Buttz Shooter

[2PEENZ]

Ugh sorry to hear that bud.

My dog (Cowboy) just turned 3 and I'm already dreading the day. She reminds me of my dog growing up in shape/size/temperament, so I suspect she'll live to ripe old age if she doesn't chase a rabbit into traffic or try to get too friendly with a coyote - Coco lived to 18. But the thought of it already kills me.

[Fleetwood mactavish]

oh man NA sorry to hear that

[Grand Moff Larkin]

I called the vet and made a 10:30 appointment. Was very close to sobbing on the phone. The vet tech on the phone said we don't have to make any decisions today, but he was whimpering in pain while trying to stand up multiple times this morning and fell a couple of times on a very short walk. I know it's time. No chance I make it through the vet appointment.

Last night Neu! 15 asked me how I handled it when my pets died growing up, and I remembered the decline of the dog we had when I was probably two through thirteen, a 100-lb black lab mix named Speck. He had bad arthritis and couldn't really bend his legs, he also stopped being able to get up on his beloved couch. The two things I specifically remember about Speck's decline were 1. he rebounded for a few months after seeing that my dad had dug a hole up by the field for him 2. there was a bird feeder outside the dining room window, and when there was a squirrel eating the food, my mom and grandmother would yell "SQUIRREL IN THE FEEDER" and the dogs would run out the door and around the house to try to get it. Despite his success in killing off the woodchuck population in the field, Speck didn't have any luck getting squirrels until very close to the end, when it seemed like there was a squirrel with its own difficulties who ran even slower than Speck. Anyway, I told him that I was sad when Speck died, but I remembered mostly Speck being Speck (and he was very much His Own Dog, whereas Barnaby is my dog first and the family dog second and a stubborn guy third).

Cowboy's got a long life ahead of her, I don't think I started dreading this day until Barnaby's back legs started giving him problems and he could no longer get up on the couch. Since then it's been on my mind all the time, I've found myself walking by him and making sure he's still breathing.

[Grand Moff Larkin]

RIP Barnaby

I held and pet his head as he drifted off and went through all of the things he loved doing

[Cacophony]

Ah man I’m sorry NA. Had to put my dog down almost 4 years ago and it’s incredibly hard.

[Alexei Ca$hin]

Oh so sorry. I've been through it a couple times too, doesn't get easier.

[nick]

Shit, so so sorry NA. He had a good life and you've got great memories, it's what you and he could've hoped for.

I dread the day when our six-ish year old Holly gets to that point.

[Grand Moff Larkin]

I've been dreading this for a while now. He's been in a gradual decline and the more I think about it, the more that not being able to pick himself up at all didn't come out of nowhere. I'd often found myself stopping as I walked by the room he napped in and waiting to confirm that he was still breathing. I thought of that after they'd put him to sleep -- after the vet gave him the second dose, I asked "How long does it take to work?" and she said "Four or five seconds, he's already stopped breathing."

For the last while I've thought about writing a book about Barnaby, essentially a memoir of his time with us, not really with the aim of getting it published but rather the idea that the kids could have a full picture of his life. I started doing that yesterday but I've mostly written about his decline and the last few days so far, which has been tough.

[captain]

RIP Barnaby, sorry for your loss but happy for all the good memories you gave each other

Pouring one out tonight for the best stinkiest boy there ever was

[Grand Moff Larkin]

I realized last night that he hadn't been farting much, if at all, in the last year. Must've exhausted his supply.

[practice]

much love to the neu family and barnaby in the sky. I remember when our second family dog became unable to climb the stairs from the basement where he hung out and played mini stick hockey, his expression of sort of concentration in trying to get it done but also bewilderment that it wasn't working. and this was the dog that used to play road hockey with us til his paws were basically rubbed off on the pavement, pain had never been an obstacle.

anyway I think it's remarkable that people can manage to move on to get another dog after losing them. in a good way.

[Grand Moff Larkin]

For the last few months, Barnaby was having trouble getting up from the tile floor by our front door (his usual spot, since there's a thin window next to the door that he could look out) and struggled with the loose gravel and dirt from the water main construction on our street. He'd keep working on it, though, and would eventually get it. The last two days when he was whimpering / crying while trying to get up had a degree of panic to it because he knew he couldn't do it anymore.

I know we'll get another dog at some point, I don't know how long I'll need. I keep thinking I'll see him in his usual spots, I keep hearing noises and going "Wait, oh." We went out this morning for an orthodontist appointment and a trip to Trader Joe's, and it's so hard not seeing him in that window as I pull up or having him greet me when we come in the door.

In terms of getting another dog, right now I just can't imagine that I'd find another one as good as Barnaby. That wouldn't be fair to another dog.

[linseman]

sorry NA, that shit is rough

i will say that last time i went through it we got some new furry friends before i thought i was ready and i have no regrets about that

[sutterfamily]

Sorry to hear. Reading this immediately brought me back to going through that same process with my cat like... 8 years ago? Instant destruction, needed to take a couple days to reply. What a responsibility (and honour) to provide that moment of love.

I think you're allowed to need time to grieve and heal. You might (and probably will?) be open to another dog after time. They don't have to (and can never) replace Barnaby but they can be a new and different joy.

[Alexei Ca$hin]

I've been thinking about getting another dog for a couple years, but I still worry that I'll be forced back to the office full-time at some point. My last dog was a rescue that never got over horrible separation anxiety. I couldn't do that again.

[Grand Moff Larkin]

I put our first two cats to sleep back in 2017, maybe 2-3 months apart. Coletta had kidney disease and was a shell of her former self -- I knew it was time when I was vacuuming my office carpet and she didn't move from the kids' chair she'd curled up in, even when her enemy Barnaby sniffed her. I had no doubt that it was time -- she'd been gradually wasting away over a few months, eating less and less no matter how much I coaxed her. Charlie had handled diabetes like a champ for such a long time, but then his kidneys started giving him problems too. His was more sudden, one day his back legs were paralyzed and he could only drag himself around the basement floor. For both of them I stayed in the room and held their paws as they went to sleep (Barnaby never liked that much so I pet his head, which he always enjoyed) and I think I went from the vet after putting Charlie to sleep to Kid Artillery's preschool Halloween party. I don't think either kid fully processed what had happened with the cats, but Charlie was a tough one. He was such a good buddy, and he'd developed a friendship with Barnaby. They were often on the couch together and that never failed to make me smile. I remember Barnaby looking around for a few days like "Hey, where's my cat buddy?"

Losing Barnaby has been so, so much harder. I'd looked in my email to try and find the name that the rescue had for him before he adopted him (it was Ricky, horrifying) and I found an email chain with a friend, where I'd sent her a the first picture of Barnaby (when he was skinny as a rail) and she replied "Are you less lonely now?" I think I'd blocked out how isolated I felt when we first moved up to that house -- bought it in November 2009, my dad died the following March, got Barnaby that December -- and getting Barnaby was such a huge part of actually meeting our neighbors and keeping me company while I worked in my home office.

[Grand Moff Larkin]

I've been thinking about getting another dog for a couple years, but I still worry that I'll be forced back to the office full-time at some point. My last dog was a rescue that never got over horrible separation anxiety. I couldn't do that again.

I realized that I'd been home with Barnaby for his entire life -- I worked from home for the first few years, then switched to being a stay-at-home dad. Earlier this year I was talking about how I'll have to get a job again to help pay for the kids' college in a few years, and thought about how it would be logistically more difficult to have a dog then. A true confluence of horrors.

Barnaby didn't have separation anxiety but he did appreciate that I was around and checked in on me a lot.

[Grand Moff Larkin]

I know there are jokes about how pets got spoiled by their humans’ constant presence during the pandemic, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t travel anywhere for over a full year. FA took the kids to visit her parents a few times and I’d stay here, since we didn’t want a petsitter coming in the house.

I used those weekends to catch up on movies FA didn’t want to see and eat takeout. I’m sure Barnaby enjoyed begging for Shake Shack (sorry pal) and Buddy’s Pizza (alright, fine).

[Grand Moff Larkin]

America, please

[Cacophony]

We do love doing the stupidest thing imaginable!